Rewriting the Rules

deep breath.

I've left this thing hanging in the dark. It seems the past 2 weeks I've reverted to my old ways. I didn't take any walks. I sat on my ass being lazy. It seems to be my middle name these days. But I did take advantage of the time off with my mom to do a lot of thinking about this blog. About myself. About this process. I realized I learned so much about myself.

First of all, after analyzing the food diary and paying more attention to my bodies cues, I've come to many conclusions. I crave chocolate in the late afternoons or evenings. I get the munchies in the afternoons (ie-i like to snack). I like to snack while I'm cooking (this is a major problem).

Second, I concentrated too much on the weight loss than the act of becoming more healthy. This should be my ultimate goal. When I've become completely in tune with my body and have accomplished being wholly healthy, the weight loss will follow. Ignoring this is one of my biggest downfalls.

Third, I've come to realize that the weekends are my biggest downfall. I have a seriously strong compulsion to slack on the weekends. I exercise less, I eat fewer fruit and vegetables, I eat out more (who doesn't, right?) and am over all less motivated.

Lastly, I over stepped my own limits. I took on too much too soon. I got too caught up and added new elements when I wasn't ready for them. By doing this I got overwhelmed, shut down and couldn't reach the goals I set for myself. I set myself up to fail.

With all that said, I'm ready to take a new step forward and do this again. Start from scratch and learn from my mistakes. I'm going to take responsibility for myself and stop ignoring my body, and mind. My weeks will begin on Sunday and end on the following Saturday. I think dividing up my weekends will make it less over whelming. I am now only allowed to weigh myself once a week. Not every day. Not every other day. In Weight Watchers you're the only weigh in that counts is the one done at the weekly meetings. So for me, only Sunday mornings am I allowed to step on that scale. If I by chance forget to do so, I am allowed to do it Monday morning. But no more than once a week. Now, onward to my goals.

Weekly goal (7/13-7/19): Participate in 4, 20 minute sessions of ongoing activity that raises my heart rate. I know this is less than what I was doing before, but as I said before, I want to start slow. I will add to this, but slowly.

Monthly goal (7/13-8/12): Maintain a regular sleep schedule. Be in bed no later than 11:30 pm. Set the alarm for 8:00 am. Be out of bed no later than 8:20 am, 5 out of 7 days. No more all nighters, even on weekends. Even if I don't fall asleep shortly after going to bed. Getting my body on a regular sleep schedule gives it the opportunity to be fully rested and ready to take on the day. No surprises. If I get a regular sleep schedule down, the more productive I'll be during the day.

It's time to take charge. Of my life. Of myself.