Move along now, little doggy. Move along.

As quick as the summer has gone by, this past month feels as though it crawled. I would be kidding myself (not to mention lying!) if I said I completed my monthly goal ending August 12 (I can't believe that's tomorrow!). The actual going to bed by 11:30 p.m. has not drug me down a bit. I just can't get out of bed by 8:25 a.m. Within the last 2 weeks, this task has gotten harder every day. The only thing I can attribute to this issue is that I am still having a hard time falling asleep quickly. With that said, I've been plagued by this problem since I can remember. One of many biological issues I can attribute to my granny (also, anxiety and mild depression, oh and writing poetry). I can say with much certainty, though, my not falling asleep can be chalked up to the increased stress over our current finances.

Moving along. Moving along. I know I said I was ready to add another day to my weekly workouts. I was thinking the other day that I should probably go ahead add one more 5 minute increment before moving up to 5 days a week. It would lesson the burden, I think.

Week of 8/10-8/16: Complete 30 minutes of continuous activity 4 out 7 days.

Month of 8/13-9/12: Consume absolutely no fast food, what so ever. Even if others offer to purchase it for you. I have a feeling this is going to be a hard task to complete. But I'm up to the challenge. If you remember right, I have completed a similar goal at the beginning of this quest. I need to one up myself!

I'm so glad we bought those bikes. As badly as our finances are this month, I feel it was worth the price. Saturday we went on an evening ride, taking the bike loop west, towards down town. On the way back we stopped to pick wild blackberries, which grow in overabundance in these parts. I'm still not riding far, but I feel awesome afterwards. I bet it will be easier once I get a more comfy seat on there. But that isn't going to happen any time soon. With that said, I am thoroughly enjoying the variety of workouts I'm able to complete now. No getting bored over here!

Now I need to drag myself away from the couch (love love love the Olympics!) and do some work around here!




(Anyone else notice I'm parenthesis happy today?)

Wholesome Me

I've successfully completed week 3 of Weight Loss Quest 2.0! I finally found a bike on c-list and purchased it yesterday. We had to take it to a local bike shop to have the inner tube of the back tire replaced for a measly $14. Eventually I'll need to replace the wheel and rear brakes, but for the time being the bike will serve it's purpose. We took our bikes to Gresham City Park, were a portion of the 40 mile bike loop cuts behind the park. The loop itself cuts behind our apartments, (if you take a look at the map, we live off of 174th Ave and Powell Blvd, just to the left of Powell Butte Nature Park, we're we have hiked a few trail heads) but unfortunately the route to the east is under construction until Sept. 15th. One night this week we should pick the loop up to the west and head towards downtown. I can't wait for the day I can begin and complete the whole loop!

This week's goal will be the same as last weeks. I'm actually biting at the bit to incorporate an additional day of physical activity! I didn't know that I was capable of such a thing! I'm going to stick with 4, 25 minute sessions of activity as to not over whelm myself, but I'm excited for next week when I get to make that 5, not 4!

I really am feeling more up beat the past week or so. For awhile there, my outlook on life was bleak and menacing. I haven't felt quite that low since I was in high school. I'm thankful though, that it was only situational depression, not chronic. Though I have been known to suffer from seasonal affective disorder. Which I'm sure can get pretty sever living in the Pacific Northwest. However, I'm feeling confident that my urge to achieve and maintain regular physical activity will help keep this at a minimum. Not to mention, the more active I become, the social I will want to be. Though for the time being, I've kept my social activities to a minimum.

I realized last week, after finding some really awesome vegetarian blogs, that a portion of my weight gain is more than likely attributed to my increased consumption of processed foods. There was a point (late college years) that I kept that a minimum. Ever since T and I began dating, and moved into together, along with the hike in consumer prices, we've relied more and more on processed foods. This week I'm putting a stop to all that. I bought a ton of gains from the bulk food section at Winco, including unprocessed quinoa, oatmeal, couscous, pastas, raw sugar, unbleached flour, and whole wheat flour to name a few. I came up with an awesome breakfast muffin recipe with dried apricots and crushed pineapple. I dropped boxed cereal and am going to try really hard to not eat granola bars. Though I do buy them for T, because it is a good on the go, low protein snack for him. I'm also going to reduce the amount of dairy I consume. I'm working hard to eliminate eggs in my baking. I'm working on a vegan version of those muffins. As soon as I master the recipe, I will post it here. I am also trying to reduce the amount of cheese I eat. I'm sure this is also attributing factor. I want to make as many things as I can instead of buying the prepackaged version. I'm hoping it will be cheaper and cut back on packaging waste. I bought a frozen pizza during my weekly shopping trip purely from habit, even though I have a quick and simple crust recipe I could make myself! It will be hard to break those old habits but I want to create a wholesome, unprocessed, fresh food environment. I think my biggest struggle will be creating easy snacks instead buying a box of something. Hmm time to go research recipes.

Oh and I lost 1.5 pounds last week. Nice, slowly, steady weight loss. I gotta keep this up!


Note: I gained 5 pounds during my hiatus and changed the parameters of the scale accordingly.

Rewriting the Rules

deep breath.

I've left this thing hanging in the dark. It seems the past 2 weeks I've reverted to my old ways. I didn't take any walks. I sat on my ass being lazy. It seems to be my middle name these days. But I did take advantage of the time off with my mom to do a lot of thinking about this blog. About myself. About this process. I realized I learned so much about myself.

First of all, after analyzing the food diary and paying more attention to my bodies cues, I've come to many conclusions. I crave chocolate in the late afternoons or evenings. I get the munchies in the afternoons (ie-i like to snack). I like to snack while I'm cooking (this is a major problem).

Second, I concentrated too much on the weight loss than the act of becoming more healthy. This should be my ultimate goal. When I've become completely in tune with my body and have accomplished being wholly healthy, the weight loss will follow. Ignoring this is one of my biggest downfalls.

Third, I've come to realize that the weekends are my biggest downfall. I have a seriously strong compulsion to slack on the weekends. I exercise less, I eat fewer fruit and vegetables, I eat out more (who doesn't, right?) and am over all less motivated.

Lastly, I over stepped my own limits. I took on too much too soon. I got too caught up and added new elements when I wasn't ready for them. By doing this I got overwhelmed, shut down and couldn't reach the goals I set for myself. I set myself up to fail.

With all that said, I'm ready to take a new step forward and do this again. Start from scratch and learn from my mistakes. I'm going to take responsibility for myself and stop ignoring my body, and mind. My weeks will begin on Sunday and end on the following Saturday. I think dividing up my weekends will make it less over whelming. I am now only allowed to weigh myself once a week. Not every day. Not every other day. In Weight Watchers you're the only weigh in that counts is the one done at the weekly meetings. So for me, only Sunday mornings am I allowed to step on that scale. If I by chance forget to do so, I am allowed to do it Monday morning. But no more than once a week. Now, onward to my goals.

Weekly goal (7/13-7/19): Participate in 4, 20 minute sessions of ongoing activity that raises my heart rate. I know this is less than what I was doing before, but as I said before, I want to start slow. I will add to this, but slowly.

Monthly goal (7/13-8/12): Maintain a regular sleep schedule. Be in bed no later than 11:30 pm. Set the alarm for 8:00 am. Be out of bed no later than 8:20 am, 5 out of 7 days. No more all nighters, even on weekends. Even if I don't fall asleep shortly after going to bed. Getting my body on a regular sleep schedule gives it the opportunity to be fully rested and ready to take on the day. No surprises. If I get a regular sleep schedule down, the more productive I'll be during the day.

It's time to take charge. Of my life. Of myself.

One step forward, two steps back

Isn't that saying supposed to go the other way around? I've forgotten over the years...but I honestly feel like that's what this whole thing is. As soon as I feel like I've accomplished something I fall backwards and find myself 1 step behind where I began. I managed to get in 3 walks/hikes last week. I feel like after having to work away from home the week before, I'm having the darnedest time getting back into my groove. I had a really good routine down, at least it was for me. Now I'm seriously struggling getting it back. Who knew one week would throw me for such a loop?

I didn't weigh myself this morning. Honestly I forgot and was way too disoriented before I hoped in the shower. Alas I will try to remember tomorrow morning to do it, but I'm scared of what the scale will say.

I didn't reach last week's goal again. I have the hardest time on the weekends. I don't know what it is about weekends that makes it hard on for me to fulfill a regular eating schedule. I did sit on my duff most of the weekend. Ahhhh where did my motivation go?

Week 6 goal: Maintain a food diary for the week in which I record every morsel that enters my mouth. I also have to give nightly updates on here. I mean what's the point unless everyone out holds me to it, right? Right.

On a side note, the complex changed the pool hours to 10 am-5:30 pm. I guess there were complaints of rowdy conduct. That's just fantastic. Especially since it was a nice relief from the heat. I guess there's no more evening swims with T. Bah Humbug.

Week 4 already?

Ok, so I've been avoiding this place all week. I don't even know where to begin....
Well, last week was an awesome week, until shit hit the fan Saturday involving my future brother-in-law and my job. It didn't begin with my job but he used it against me anyhow. The event was crushing and overwhelming, needless to say it ruined my whole week as far as fruits and veggies go. I managed to complete my week on Sunday even though I fucked it up Saturday. A feat in and of itself. But because the goal was 7 out of 7 days I cannot reward myself because of that one horrible day. This week's goal is: eat 3 servings each of fruit and vegetables 6 out of 7 days. I think I was setting myself up to fail by making the goal for every day of the week...

My monthly goal is going good so far. I'm a bit behind this week as I haven't done any ab workouts. Due to the "circumstances" I'm currently not working at home. I know its not a great excuse, but I had made it a part of my daily routine, not evening routine...anyway I still have time to squeeze them all in by Sunday night.

I can't believe I've made it this far. I heard on the radio the other morning that it takes our minds and bodies 6 months to make exercise a regular part of our lives. Wow. That just seems so hard to accomplish, but if I take it one day, one week, one month at a time, I can make it a part of my life.

Well I'm out, the spinach and tomato salad I ate for dinner gave me a tummy ache for some reason.

Holding up

Man I felt like crud today. I could barely bring myself out of bed this morning. I felt no drive to do anything to do with healthy living. I honestly didn't eat much today, but what I ate wasn't exactly the best choices, minus the salad, carrots, and hummus I ate after my walk (think: doritos, banana bread, chocolate chips, and more banana bread). I think part of my blah-ness had to do with getting to bed late last night (damn dorito's quest!) and not going on a walk yesterday. I finally got around to doing my first ab workout of the week. AT 6:45 pm. The workout I chose was a bit too advanced for me, so I just ended up doing my old school crunch routine from my college days. I do however feel 10 fold better after the fact. That just goes to show that working out does more than shape your body, it shapes your mood, too! I think next week I might mix up my walks with a little cardio on the t.v. I'm not sure what my exact goals will be. All I know is that I sit too much on my rump during the day!

I can't wait until my new battery and arm band arrive for my Creative Labs Zen Micro. It sure will make working out a little bit easier. I just hope the new battery is all it needs to work. Otherwise I think I may have to invest in a new mp3 player *crosses fingers* and I really don't need another thing to buy!

One step closer

So far, so good. I've completed 4 out of 5 walks, with 3 more days left! Today I even walked in the rain. Mind you, it hadn't rained all day until I went outside to take a walk! But I forged through, baby and all.

Don't misunderstand my eating well. I'm only eating better. I am eating a balanced meal versus a bag of doritos. I eat 2 seperate snacks in the afternoons. (Hey, T hasn't been home before 8:30 3 out of 4 nights this week!) I sneak silly things. I still eat too much cheese (I ate an extra slice while preparing my lunch today) and find things like bags of gherradeli milk chocolate chips in my "baking cupboard." But! I did make it through the grocery store tonight with out picking up a "snack" as I often do. I admit it here and now. I often hunt down the perfect "cheat" when I'm at the grocery store. This usually happens when I shop hungry. I will scour the bakery or cookie isle or check out lane to find that one sweet chocolaty thing that will quench my craving. My favorite? The fresh chocolate éclairs from the the bakery. Or a pack of Oreo cakesters. Those are pretty much a little piece of heaven. Today though, I made it out of there with out them. I bought a can of Pillsbury orange cinna rolls, with the excuse of T's dad coming. Gotta make sure we keep Big B happy! Naw, I just thought it would be a nice treat for everyone and T is always begging asking for them. At least, that's what I keep telling myself. Hey, at least I had a coupon!

Ugh. That's really what this whole thing is about, well at least half of it, anyway. It's all excuses. I can't do this because of this. Why do this today when I can do it tomorrow. I need this because...I didn't do it yesterday, who should I do it today (or I ate this yesterday, why not today?) You get the idea. All that combined with the emotional/confidence factor is a recipe for disaster. You saw those pictures, I posted right? That's exactly where you end up, and I don't ever want to be there again!

I decided to change the reward for my weekly goal. Who needs nail polish when there are beautiful fresh cut flowers? I would much rather have a beautiful bouquet on my new kitchen table to gaze at than paint on my nails! Flowers make me happy and that's what I really need in my life right now! Though I should do some research and find out what are some hearty local flowers around here.

This whole reward system is kinda hard to pin down. We're still trying to iron out the kinks. Nugget and I discussed it and and came to the conclusion that coffee (ie: starbucks, coffee bean) and smoothy (jamba juice, juice stop) shops do count as rewards as long as we stick with the smallest option (tall, 12 oz, etc) and make it healthy like non fat or sugar free.

I'm so impatient! I want to see where I'm at at day 28. I want to reward myself with that flat iron! I think I may actually be having fun with this. Oh, and I haven't eaten out once this week! I'm trying really hard to make a home cooked meal every night. In a moment of weakness I almost succumbed to my chocolate covered cherry in chocolate ice cream blizzard craving from Diary Queen, but I turned the opposite direction and drove to a park to take a walk instead. Did I mention that my moment of weakness was due to my inability to find the store i was looking for? I often give in to the dark side out of frustration, anger or shame.

Wow, every time I try to wrap up this post, I think of something else. Alright. I'm over and out.