One step closer

So far, so good. I've completed 4 out of 5 walks, with 3 more days left! Today I even walked in the rain. Mind you, it hadn't rained all day until I went outside to take a walk! But I forged through, baby and all.

Don't misunderstand my eating well. I'm only eating better. I am eating a balanced meal versus a bag of doritos. I eat 2 seperate snacks in the afternoons. (Hey, T hasn't been home before 8:30 3 out of 4 nights this week!) I sneak silly things. I still eat too much cheese (I ate an extra slice while preparing my lunch today) and find things like bags of gherradeli milk chocolate chips in my "baking cupboard." But! I did make it through the grocery store tonight with out picking up a "snack" as I often do. I admit it here and now. I often hunt down the perfect "cheat" when I'm at the grocery store. This usually happens when I shop hungry. I will scour the bakery or cookie isle or check out lane to find that one sweet chocolaty thing that will quench my craving. My favorite? The fresh chocolate éclairs from the the bakery. Or a pack of Oreo cakesters. Those are pretty much a little piece of heaven. Today though, I made it out of there with out them. I bought a can of Pillsbury orange cinna rolls, with the excuse of T's dad coming. Gotta make sure we keep Big B happy! Naw, I just thought it would be a nice treat for everyone and T is always begging asking for them. At least, that's what I keep telling myself. Hey, at least I had a coupon!

Ugh. That's really what this whole thing is about, well at least half of it, anyway. It's all excuses. I can't do this because of this. Why do this today when I can do it tomorrow. I need this because...I didn't do it yesterday, who should I do it today (or I ate this yesterday, why not today?) You get the idea. All that combined with the emotional/confidence factor is a recipe for disaster. You saw those pictures, I posted right? That's exactly where you end up, and I don't ever want to be there again!

I decided to change the reward for my weekly goal. Who needs nail polish when there are beautiful fresh cut flowers? I would much rather have a beautiful bouquet on my new kitchen table to gaze at than paint on my nails! Flowers make me happy and that's what I really need in my life right now! Though I should do some research and find out what are some hearty local flowers around here.

This whole reward system is kinda hard to pin down. We're still trying to iron out the kinks. Nugget and I discussed it and and came to the conclusion that coffee (ie: starbucks, coffee bean) and smoothy (jamba juice, juice stop) shops do count as rewards as long as we stick with the smallest option (tall, 12 oz, etc) and make it healthy like non fat or sugar free.

I'm so impatient! I want to see where I'm at at day 28. I want to reward myself with that flat iron! I think I may actually be having fun with this. Oh, and I haven't eaten out once this week! I'm trying really hard to make a home cooked meal every night. In a moment of weakness I almost succumbed to my chocolate covered cherry in chocolate ice cream blizzard craving from Diary Queen, but I turned the opposite direction and drove to a park to take a walk instead. Did I mention that my moment of weakness was due to my inability to find the store i was looking for? I often give in to the dark side out of frustration, anger or shame.

Wow, every time I try to wrap up this post, I think of something else. Alright. I'm over and out.